Why? Why? Why?

.....and why doesn't depression disappear?

…..and why doesn’t depression disappear?

I just returned from a wonderful vacation with my family, one of whom is a three year old, delightfully in the “why” stage.  Conversation might go something like this:

We have to move over to the side of the road now.  

Why?  

Because a car is coming and we don’t want it to hit us.  

Why?  

Because it would hurt to get hit by a car.  

Why?  

Because our bodies were not designed to be hit was heavy cars and still continue to work properly.  

Why?  

You get the idea.  Everything needed, and yes, clamored for an explanation.

It did start me wondering about all the why questions that have crossed our path regarding depression.  Most have come from caregivers seeking answers.

Why won’t the psychiatrist have me come to any of the sessions?  

Why doesn’t he want to know what my observations are?  

Why don’t people treat us like we are dealing with a serious disease?  

Why don’t doctors even consider that there might be more involved than simply what the patient is telling them?  

Why don’t these professionals listen to my children regarding their father?   They have great insight.  

Why don’t the professionals look at the consequences of the medication, not just “the cure and let’s get on with it? “

Why does the medication rob us of our intimacy?   

And the questions could go on.  Often we caregivers are seeking answers for the why questions that flood our brains when given a diagnosis for our loved one of depression.  Sadly, we often don’t have someone willing and patient enough to answer our questions.  Instead we are “on the clock” and have to get answers to only the very essential questions.

Let’s remember when we have our minds full of the “whys” that our world does indeed have people willing and able to answer those “whys.”  If not the psychiatrist or the therapist, there are other professionals willing to give the time and effort to answer our “whys” knowing that only when they are answered can we move forward in our learning and then be able to help the one we love.

And just as we are able to reawaken the sense of wonder in ourselves when we answer the “why” questions of a three year old, our sense of being able to help will be reawakened when someone takes the time to answer our depression “whys.”

– Bernadette

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