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Starting over… part 2

We’re about a week into my husband’s slow ramping down of antidepressant – recommended by his sleep study doc in preparation for a new overnight study, with the approval of his psychiatrist.  Easy for them to say – perhaps not so easy for us to live through.

So here’s the convergence of points: In the last couple of weeks B. has 1)ditched the mouth appliance he wore at night (controls snoring and mild sleep apnea, but totally throws his jaw out of allignment), 2)started weaning himself from the antidepressant he’s been on for 8 years – the one that finally worked after 12 years of trial and error, and 3)started applying for and interviewing for a second job (we’d like to stay in our home and eat occasionally even though we have two in college and one heading that way next fall). For a guy with chronic depression AND panic and anxiety disorders, this last one was enough to throw him into a dark pit all by itself.

It certainly seems like a recipe for disaster for both of us.

But here’s the weird thing – so far it’s not as bad as I expected.   Okay, I’m not sleeping well because there’s a snoring hulk in bed with me every night.  And he’s not sleeping much at all due to the racing thoughts and obsessive thinking that go along with panic and anxiety.  Which made him call in three hours late to his day job yesterday… But on the whole, I’m not seeing the intense irritability, the hangdog affect on his face, the negativity – his most difficult-to-live-with depression symptoms.

Of course, that’s probably partly due to the fact that we’re so busy with kid concerns right now that we hardly have a spare moment to spend together . Then, too, we’re only a week into that ramping-down thing.  And who knows how difficult life might get when he actually gets into the routine of working 12-15 hour days (he got that second job) at the same time that he’s completely off antidepressants.  It could get a whole lot worse.

But currently we’re in a holding pattern I can live with. Probably best to just appreciate that fact for now.



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